I opened my eyes. I blinked several times until my eyes focused on the white ceiling. White. I automatically thought of heaven. Was I alreadt there?
I sat up suddenly only to have pain jolt up to my head. I quickly grabbed my head to stop the pain.
If I was dead why was I feeling pain?
“Ayu,” I was startled to hear his voice from beside me.
“Ryo,” I called out. “I was going to look for you.”
I finally looked up to see him.
“Huh?” I was confused. We weren't in heaven. I took in the surrounding and the sound of beeping of a machine. I realised I was in the hospital. “We’re alive?”
I winced at his angry tone. He was in the hospital bed next to mines wearing the same gown as me and tied to the machine as well. At his loud voice, I saw movement at the corner of my eyes. I turned to find Christine, Bam andJessie sitting on the sofa where they had been sleeping. Their boyfriends were sitting on the floor and had also been sleeping. They all jumped to their feet when they saw me.
“Ayu!” the girls cried out. Tears formed on their eyes as they flung themselves on me. I was still confused and shocked.
I was alive! It just wouldn't sink in. But then another thing occurred. I pushed the girls away and turned my attention back on my two years boyfriend.
“You’re alive!” I exclaimed.
“Duh!” he sarcastically quipped. He was still angry at me. I could only guess why. I tried to kill myself.
“How could you be silly?” Bam shouted. “Of all the stupid things you could do, you decided to kill yourself!”
“This isn't Romeo and Juliet!” Jess the one who rarely gets angry was also yelling at me.
I must have been really dumb to get her angry. I saw how Pi was hesitant to come to me. I motioned him over which he quickly did and gave me a bear hug.
“You scared us all,” he whispered into my ears. “If we didn't get to you guys in time, you really would have been dead.”
“Don't say the word!” Chris told her boyfriend off. She was trying hard to keep calm. “If I lost you, I really don’t know what I would have done.”
I found myself tearing up. I haven’t thought about my friends who would miss me. I had only thought of Ryo. At the thought of him, I heard his bed creak and before I turned to look at what he was up to, I felt my mattress go down and then felt his arm around my waist causing Pi to let me go.
“Because you did something stupid like this, I can’t leave you now.”
I jerked my head back and stared at him with bewildered eyes. “You were going to leave me?”
“You think I would have stayed with someone who didn't trust me?” he retorted.
I bit my bottom lips as the guilt returned. “I’m sorry.”
His grip on me tightened. “I can’t believe you would do something like that for me.”
I buried my face on his chest. “I-I... it was my fault... because of me...”
“It’s not your fault,” his voice was soft and comforting now. “It was my fault.”
“Damn right it is!” my three friends said in unison.
Ryo cringed. “I should have been honest with you from the beginning but I was embarrassed for getting into a huge dept that I couldn't tell you.”
“I can’t believe you never told me either,” Pi let out an exasperating breath. “If I knew I would have helped you.”
“Me too,” I said as I pulled back. “I wouldn't have cared whatever dept you were in as long as I knew I wouldn't lose you.”
“Why were you in dept in the first place?” Jaejoong finally spoke asking the question everyone had in their mind including me.
He took his time replying. “It was when I was 18 when I took out the loan...”
“Oh my God!” Pi gasped. Everyone’s attention was on him. “The operation I had that time. You paid for it.” Although it was meant to be a question the last sentence came out as a statement.
“I paid the loan sharks back but I didn't think they would scam me into paying for high interest. It was twice as much as I had took from them.”
“You should have told me!” Pi shrieked. “I...” he paused as if something occurred in his head. “All this... it’s my entire fault. All because of my stupid operation!”
“Don't talk crazy!” Ryo told his friend off. “If we could turn back time, I’ll still do the same thing even if I knew the scam. You’re my best friend as well as a brother to me! I didn't want to lose you.”
Yamapi didn't have any family. Ryo’s family had taken him in when he was seven years old and his parents passed away. He didn't have any other relatives. Ryo and his family was all he had. And Ryo treated him like a blood brother which Pi liked about him. So, when he was in an accident because of a drunk driver, his hospital fee was high that Ryo’s parents couldn't afford. But somehow miraculously someone paid for it anonymously.
“We’re alive now!” I shouted, starling everyone. “It’s in the past. So let’s not blame anyone.” Everyone agreed while Pi was wary. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “If you weren't here, you would never have met my amazing friend Chris.”
This brought a smile on his face. He looked at his girlfriend who wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Yeah, you wouldn't have met an amazing person like me,” she said cheekily.
It seemed everyone had got over her near death experience. For some reason they didn't care about Ryo. Well, they never showed it....
“Wait... how long was asleep for?”
“A week,” Jess said.
I gasped. “What about Ryo-kun?”
“He woke up the next day,” Bam answered for him.
No wonder they weren't concerned for him. They probably already drilled him with questions.
“You were in more serious condition than him,” Chris explained. “None of us had the same blood type as you until Hengeng came and gave you his blood. Because the doctor gave you a late blood transfusion, your condition worsened.”
I looked at Hengeng with a different light. It’s not like I didn't like him before. It was just that I found it uncomfortable around him because I never knew what to talk to him about.
“Thanks,” I grinned at him.
Then everyone started talking at once. We ignored the nurses and doctors that came in shortly after to check on me. Soon the visitors left knowing that I’m alright and promised to return tomorrow after they had a good rest which they weren't able to have because of me. I felt sorry for Hengeng and Jaejoong who hardly know me, had to go through the same thing.
I glanced up at Ryo, who was still on my bed and refused to budge fell asleep. He was lying down with me resting on his shoulder, the side he was unharmed. I later found out that he was stabbed under his heart missing the vital area. He had been told he was lucky.
“I love you, Ryo,” I said quietly.
He shifted on his position snuggling more closely to me. “I love you too,” he responded under his breath. At first I thought he was awake but when I saw the rise and the fall on his chest and heard his steady breathing, I knew he was still asleep. I smile tugged on the corner of my mouth.
I vowed to never doubt our relationship again. I didn't want to lose him and I didn't want to go through the whole thing again or let my friends go through that as well.
I loved him and that was all that mattered.