1. How I Got Ron and Hermione Together by Anna Clair
How I Got Ron and Hermione Together
Hey hey! You kids stop running. Your old man here's just a regular joe. He can't keep up with you sprints.
Yeah Dad you had us kind of early. You can't be complaining about the back pains yet. I'm not ready for that.
Shut up my lovelies. So anyways I'm gonna tell you a story.
OH NO. DAD NO. YOUR STORIES SUCK! MOM'S THE WRITER.
IT'S TRUE! Your bed time stories made me cry dad.
Hey hey! Your mother was the one who gave me lessons in angst acting which is how I got the starring role in the Nana TV show with your mom playing Yuri when I was Nobu. Except you know...you guys aren't allowed to read that manga. So anyways. It was 2011. Your mother was kind of crazy about Harry Potter, and we were still in college so it was the whole group of us. And of course your mother went crazy and started yeah. Yeah I know what you're thinking.
I'm not thinking anything.
You guys are thinking how crazy your mother is.
Actually I was thinking of how crazy you are dad.
Good for nothing twins.
DON'T YOU LOVE US?
Of course I love you sweetie.
He's lying. Don't believe that maou Hikari.
Why do you guys hate your papa? Anyways. So of course your mom got us completely dressed up for the last movie, we saw it in the theaters and well my hair was still red back then.
Wait wait. Mom got you guys dressed up? Who were you guys?
Well your mom was Hermione, Uncle Yama was Harry, I was Ron your Aunty Christine was Ginny, Talia was Luna and Koyama dressed up as Neville.
Wait wait- where were Ryo and Ayumu?
Are you kidding? They'd just gotten together so they couldn't keep their hands off each other. The rest of us were still suffering from awkward teenage boy and girl syndrome thank you very much. They chose to go watch it themselves.
Ahhh no wonder I always think Uncle Ryo is the best.
He's got game dad. You not so much. Wait weren't you like 20 though when it was 2011. So you couldn't still be in your teens.
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. So yes. We were all walking around the theater and of course people loved our outfits. They couldn't stop yelling for us and at one point the theatre staff just situated all of us in the front of the entrance so people could take pictures with us. It was getting crowded upstairs you see. And we even got a special-
Dad...I don't want to hear every single detail.
Yeah papa. Important stuff only. See this is your problem. You always stretch things!
HEY HEY! I also learned that from your mother. Anyways So as people continued taking pictures of the entire scene outside the theater with the Ron/Hermione, Harry/Hermione, Neville/Luna and Harry/Ginny shippers going crazy over us there was a mini war sprawling out between the two shippers. Ron/Hermione and Harry/Hermione.
Wait so what was everyone doing?
Some girl had made Talia and Koyama look like they were dueling it was pretty adorable. They still have the shot somewhere. Chri-chan and I were busy posing for a group of girls as the Weasley brother and sister. And if I wasn't so into the shot I wouldn't have noticed it but another rabid teenage fan girl had approached Pi from the back and pushed him into your mother roughly. I still feel guilty about what happened to this day.
Omo papa what happened?
Dad...are you the reason Pi-chan can't walk right now ?
Baka that was his own fault. He fell down some stairs last week and hurt his ankle. This was years ago. Aww my lovely idiot twins. You guys are going to definitely fail school.
Let's put the guy in a nursing home when he's old after for undermining our intelligence
You guys really hate your papa don't you? So don't you want to know what happened?
Well...will we get to go to Haruma and Sakura's party on Sunday?
Oh oh please dadd! Pleaseeeeeeeeeee.
Hikaru has a crush on Sakura! Hikari tell me!
Oh my god. Yes. Yes you do. Hahaha awkward boy phase.
Please don't be so nerdy. And don't point. Hikaru hasn't admitted it to himself yet.
Omo. Hikari when did you get so much more mature than your older brother?
He's four seconds older. And I've always been smarter.
Not true. Anyways dad weren't you telling us about your story...not about how supposedly I like Sakura.
All right shy-kun. So as I was saying...right. Someone had roughly pushed your Yamapi onto your mother. Yamapi being the biggest klutz completely had fallen down hard but had taken your mother with him and of course like all dramas- they accidentally kissed.
UNCLE PI AND MAMA KISSED?
HOW COULD SHE EVER CHOOSE YOU OVER HIM?
HEY HEY! CHILL OUT CHILDREN. I know your Uncle Yama is hot...but I had class, intelligence and style in higher abundance than him.
Dad...stop lying.�Santa won't give you gifts if you lie you know.
So as I was saying they accidentally kissed and all the fan girls around us went crazy. They couldn't stop taking shots of them and even as Yamapi got off her just as quickly and I turned to glare at them all they just kept yelling and yelling for Pi to take another shot with her. They were Harry/Hermione shippers you see...they wanted Harry and Hermione to get together. You see they were all probably depressed because the books didn't turn out the way they would have liked them.
I really don't see where you come into this entire equation.
Well you see Chri-chan beside me was getting teary-eyed and well I was a little hurt too I suppose.
Why am I so sure it was you who was more hurt?
Yeah Dad you're such a softie.
Shh...don't tell anyone.
What did you guys do after then to escape the rabid fangirls?
If it was Fight or Flight, you know usually your papa would choose Flight-but this time I wanted to Fight. I stalked up to the two of them and pushed Yamapi out of the way and grabbed your mother and kissed her.
Yah...oddly enough. I don't like hearing about you guys kissing.
How do you think you two were made?
What it's true! So anyways your mother's hand was itching to slap me when we broke apart because of course. She hadn't wanted our first kiss to be like what it was. When we broke apart she narrowed her eyes and asked me to explain myself or I was going to be in a lot of trouble.
Mom's so cool.
She is...but she's also the dorkiest kid in the world. So I knew only one answer would make her laugh like hell and forgive me.
Well I turned to the entire audience before I looked directly at her. I was kind of embarrassed that I had done that in front of everyone.
So I just sort of yelled- "RON AND HERMIONE FOR EVER BITCHES!"
DAD! No way!
No, no she means. No way I can't believe you are so pathetic that you couldn't even tell Mom you couldn't stand seeing her kissing Uncle Yamapi or seeing her hurt or seeing the fangirls make your entire group get extremely awkward.
Hikaru. No questioning the first-kiss. Without it you guys wouldn't have been here. At which point Christine started yelling the same thing over and over and then Pi grabbed her by the waist and they started posing too- they didn't kiss of course. They weren't that stupid but of course after that- well your mother and I couldn't keep our hands off each other...in the theater when I tried to kiss her again though she slapped me for disturbing her while the movie was playing.
Dad...you are so pathetically adorable.
Yeah Hikari now you know where you got it from huh?
Papa I love you.
Group hug! No don't look at me like that Hikaru- you are not getting too old for these.
What were you guys upto?
Guys let me go I have to go do something to your mother.
Oh god DAD! NOT IN FRONT OF US! NO KISSING PLEASE! FOR MY FUTURE MENTAL HEALTH. I DON'T WANT TO PAY A PSYCHOLOGIST TO ERASE THESE IMAGES FROM MY HEAD!
I'm sorry! Okay. I told you two I can't keep my hands off her that's what its like to love someone. I love you boo.
I love you too darling...but do it again in front of the children and you won't feel the love for a long time.
I'm just helping him get with Sakura-chan. So he gets some first hand demonstration on how to woo a girl.
HIKARU LIKES SAKURA?!
We're going inside come on Hikaru...give them some time alone. Dad obviously needs it.
So what happened out there that caused this?
Nothing. I just remembered something really important that we'd forgotten for a while.
And what's that?
Ron and Hermione are forever.
And so are we.