Minseok turned his back on the elder and through the crowd, out into the cold, night air. How many years had passed since he was tricked into delving into this realm of evil? Did ‘she’ even exist anymore?...
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First of all, I really like the poster! You did a good job on the character-selection as well as the theme :) Not to mention the color scheme is pretty cool, too!
And Miss Lillith Evans, who does not like Starbucks? We can be two peas in a pod drinking our White-Chocolate Frappes (well, it's Christmas, so it's Peppermint Mocha-season) at Starbucks together!
And you've peaked my curiosity about this Snowflake ball! Now I want to know how good it really is. I bet it's fabulous; anything winter-themed is my favorite! And the description of the girl's outfits definitely helped me (and your audience) picture the scene in our heads.
And UGH this Kame, he's disgusting. (Sorry to all the real Kames out there), but I'm glad that Pi came to save the day! Yeah! And Toma with Lillith, how adorable :) Thanks for the super adorable story! I thought it was pretty good. Loved the characterization, plot, fluff, everything!!! ^^
That was cute and adorable! Lillith was brave when she invited Toma to dance and when she stepped closer to him. XD The flirting was hot. ~_^ Thank you for writing and sharing this story with us!
If you don't mind, I'd like to point out a few errors I noticed. I'm going to correct them for you since you can't edit your story until the reveal day (Dec 26th). =)
1. “It just kinda did?” here beautiful friend replied while shrugging. = “It just kinda did?” her beautiful friend replied while shrugging.
2. “That Lillith is the most awesome party of the year.” Toma said, grinning toothily. = “That, (comma here) Lillith, (comma here) is the most awesome party of the year.” Toma said, grinning toothily.
3. “Good for you, I guess me and Christine will be each others’ dates.” = “Good for you, I guess me and Christine will be each other’s dates.”
4. Talia immediately was swept away from the group by Miura who had her hands all over her on the dance floor. = Talia immediately was swept away from the group by Miura who had his hands all over her on the dance floor.
5. “Yes, Hime and Tegoshi have really out done themselves this time.” = “Yes, Hime and Tegoshi have really outdone themselves this time.”
6. She smiled when she saw Talia giggling at something Miura had said, her cheeks inevitable blushing. = She smiled when she saw Talia giggling at something Miura had said, her cheeks inevitably blushing.
7. The stopped kissing after what felt like a few seconds. = They stopped kissing after what felt like a few seconds.
This was adorable. It was such a girls girl story! Idk if that's an accurate description but it was so light and fun but you did a good job expanding on each of the girls! Like I really felt like I knew them and where they were all coming from in such a short space! Excellent characterization. Even with Tali and Miura's part!
Now can I spaz and not be so serious reviewer like? Whoever you are who wrote this XD (LOL honestly I'm curious to see if others figure it out i think they will but I'm going to try and keep it secretive. SEE THIS IS THE REASON I DIDN'T WANT TO REVIEW CAUSE I WAS GOING TO BE WAY TOO OPEN)
Okay I thought this was an amazingly cute story. Have to say I think the best character here was Kame like WOW. What an amazing character.
I am being sarcastic please don't kill me KamexChri FO LYFE XD (jkjk it's always going to be Pi Chri also Kame was damn creepy man :O WHO THE HELL SAYS BLOWJOB STUFF LIKE THAT IN PICK UP LINES? YOU SAVE THAT FOR LIKE THE THIRD DATE or if you're dating a brown girl...like almost never)
Toma was adorable an sweet :D and he seemed so relaxed and normal I loved the way he was so casual and light about everything but it was still pretty clear he was interested in Lillith. The subtlety of the flirting was actually pretty awesome *high five*
Thank you so much for writing this you amazing human being who is made of amazing things :)
Aaawww this was so cute! LOL at Hime and Tegoshi planning the party. Hahaha It was a really cute funny story and so much fluff Hahaha Thank you for sharing this story!
.jpg "Banner 59 by Ninner ft. NEWS - Koyama Keiichiro (JP)")
